Monday, May 29, 2006
I was released early today so I reached home when the sky was, miraculously, still bright! Anyway while I was walking home from Buangkok station, a stray dog approached me, face-on. Imagine both of us walking on the same side of the pavement (fancy a dog knowing to stay on the pavement). If neither of us move, we'll definitely collide.
So here comes the question, do I or do "he" (i presume it's a he) move? If you were me, what would you do?
Btw the dog is a wild-bred dog that looks as if it may bite if provoked. And on my right-hand side, there was the construction fence. So I could either move to my right and risk having the dog attack me and I have nowhere else to run to. Or I can move to my left and walk on the grass. But that will force the dog to walk alongside the fence. And animals, if trapped/intimdated, tend to attack (trust me on this, ever heard of 狗急跳墙?) Either way, I may be attacked.
So what would you do? (come to think of it, it's damn stupid. I was coming up with and filtering through all the possible scenarios in a matter of seconds)
So I forced myself against the fence and walked past the dog, peacefully. Out-of-habit, I looked at its eyes for a second and immediately regretted it. FYI, NEVER, I mean never, look/stare at a dog's eyes, because they deemed it as a threat and may attack. Thank goodness I didn't hold its eye contact for long. And I wasn't attacked.
After the dog, a construction worker came walking towards me. Ironically, I began to filter through the same thoughts. Then I did the same thing again. Then on the way, I began to psychoanalyse myself. Abit wuliao, but I can't help it. By moving to my right, I'm putting myself at a disadvantage for the benefit of another. I can also look at it another way, if I can make the other person feel less intimdated, I'm puttng myself at a more advantageous position. 心计很重, 我知道...
Its just me and you <3 .
7:49 PM
7:49 PM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Recommend another fanfic:
My Sister's Dying
It's a charmed fanfiction, written by a writer who just lost her dearest Mother to cancer. Real touching! (although I'm only 3 chapters into it) And definitely worth a read. It's about how Piper's dying from cancer and the whole family is riding out the waves. I was thinking of euthanasia patients when I read this, so give it a try!
Its just me and you <3 .
2:57 PM
2:57 PM
Monday, May 22, 2006
Da Vinci Decoded (In My Own Simple Way)
The Good & Bad of Da Vinci Code
I just caught this movie with Huilin, a couple of hours again. And it has such an impact on me, I've had to get it out of me. I must say, never before has a movie affected me this much. Nevertheless, I pretty much suspect I am possessed. There's this image that's deeply etched in my mind's eye & I don't wait to paint it out or something.
Disclaimer: I'm not a christian & I have nothing against Christianity. I just want to believe that the movie/book's plot is real. Let's just assume it is real for a moment.
*WARNING!SPOILERS AHEAD!*
The Best Scene:
The very last scene when Langdon finally found Her resting place and did the simplest act possible. He kneed before Her. Like the Templars before him, he paid tribute to this woman that humanity so often neglected or wronged. For centuries, (if the myth is true) this poor Lady has had her good name smeared. For the sake of the Sangreal, she left the Lord and spent a lifetime in hiding. Till death (& even many years after so), her name wasn't spared.
Now, when it seems minutely possible that Her name may be cleared, the truth cannot be revealed. Simply for the sake of the continuation of the faith. So much is owed to this woman, yet the only thing Langdon could do was kneel. It may be a simple act, but so much is said in that single scene. So much emotions can be seen from that ending. I had tears in my eyes when I saw that scene. I don't know if you had.
I'm not sure if this is by the stroke of genius by Dan Brown or the director, but this was a much better ending than when I was reading the book. I remembered scolding Dan Brown for the most horrible ending (not because the ending was that bad, but the ending was so bad it pretty much spoiled the whole book) So it should have something to do with the magic fingers of the director. It provides the closure for the entire movie. THE X-factor, at least for me. That ending was absolutely worth my ticket's worth.
Well, people had said, if you've read the book before, the movie won't be that nice. But I beg to differ. The movie was better than expected. Because of that scene and Ian's performance. Superb, he's a limelighter stealer. But, being very picky, I hate the moment before and when he said,"Robert, you solved it! You took out the score...
" because the transition between the emotions wasn't there. If you watch closely, there's a scene when Sophie was talking to Robert outside the Rossell's Church, because of the cutting, the change in emotion was missing also. I wanna straggle the editor. I'm becoming more like Jeremiah...
Its just me and you <3 .
10:59 PM
10:59 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Tribute to mamas in the world...
Its just me and you <3 .
12:57 AM
12:57 AM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I've heard of this expression somewhere before. It's describing a person suffering from a terrible bout of migraine.
"he was half convinced that if he’d handed her a loaded pistol and told her that putting it up to the side of her head and pulling the trigger it would make her feel better, she’d do it without a moment’s hesitation."
How convenient..
Its just me and you <3 .
11:37 PM
11:37 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
在我后悔之前，先让我把话讲出来。。。要不然，我会因为怕得为自己说过的话负责任而不说呢。
老芝，要是你肯踏出那第一步，你在娱乐圈肯定有所作为。
哈哈，我刚才在看孙燕姿演唱会特集，让我突然想到老芝。她是我这么多 K partners 当中中气最充足，飚歌最强的人。（哈哈，小姐我很少夸人的喔！）她唱的孙燕姿、张绍含非常有水准。声音够厚，转音美。而且没人飚得过她。（哈哈。超吵！）她的声音不像 Esther 那种 SHE 的甜美，也不是张绍含那种高嗓音的干涩美。她的嗓音比较像孙燕姿厚而有力的声音。但是唱起张绍含、杨丞琳的歌却别有一番滋味。有点像孙燕姿、张绍含的结合体，很有市场，哈哈阿。
我想我又在发白日梦了。 可是可以肯定的是，跟她唱歌是种享受，因为每首歌她都会注入不同的新元素。I hope I'm not giving her 高帽子戴喔。。
可是以她的性格，在娱乐圈混会很辛苦，毕竟娱乐圈不是有才华就一定能一发冲天的！我可不是指娱乐圈的尔虞我诈，毕竟我还不是娱乐圈一份子yet. 而是现实的市场，不只是要看能唱歌的歌手，也要看多才多艺的表演者。也不是说她不多才多艺，她比我多才多艺多了，哈哈。。。也说不出个所以然。多半是很难想象她会踏出那第一步吧。现实的局限，家庭的环境。最重要是她有没有那个心，那个冲劲吧？！可惜咯，这么多人有这么多理想，却因现实的束缚，埋没梦想。。。
Its just me and you <3 .
4:34 PM
4:34 PM
I just watched Schindler's List by Steven Spielberg. It's based on a true story, about a Nazi German named Schindler who saved 1,117 Jews' lives during WW2. It has supposedly won many Oscar awards. Best director, best picture, just to name a few. But frankly speaking, it's not the conventional Hollywood film you will expect. The tone is too dark, (boy, did I mention the film is black n white) & I'm saying this even though I'm a dark kind of person.
Quite frankly speaking, it has been a chore sitting through the whole movie. First thing, it's long and draggy. And things he choose to portray are cliche because I'm a history student. Ms Lily Chua (my history teacher) had showed us pictures of many of these atrocities before, so I was numbed. But the thing is, even for me, there were moments when it's just too much & you just cry.
No matter how many times I was told these atrocities, it's different when you actually watch it. I'm not sure what these mean to you:
While Jews were whizzed off to Jewish camps, a sorter was poured a box of teeth fillings.
Imagine just like every other day, you forgot to bring your ID (or your IC), and you get boxed up and sent off to a gulag/death camp.
If you're old or young, you're undesirable according to social eugenics. (talk about age discrimination)
You are 拔 down to your bare skin (men & women alike, at the same place) and herded around like animals.
You do not question. You do not ask. You obey. Or your brains get blasted. It's as simple as that. You pray to god for help, but there seems to be no god. Only perverts & the satanics.
But sadly, it's not the best WW2 movie I've seen.
The Pianist is worth a watch. Cos it's artistic with a touch of morbidity. The beautiful thing about it is how it combined the beauty of music with the (ironically) beauty of war.
Enemy by the Gates is my personal favourite, because it's adrenaline-pumping. Combat of wits between snipers (Soviet Union's & Germany's).
Kok Chong recommended Saving Private Ryan, but I've not watched it yet.
兄弟 is a Korean movie that's real bloody.
Black Hawk Down is typical Hollywood stuff, good to watch, good to forget.
Pearl Harbor is typical Hollywood as well, but in a diff way cos most often people will remember it because of Josh Harnett & the hunks.
So which kind do you prefer?
Its just me and you <3 .
3:37 PM
3:37 PM
What's life all about?
The constant search for a purpose? Or in pursuit of some worldy pleasures? There are people who live for the sake of liberating others. There are some who live for the sake of fighting liberation. There's a farmer who's seeking to keep his field growing, & a mother seeking to keep her child alive. There are lots of reasons one can have as their purpose in life. What's yours?
I once asked this question to Amanda, "What on earth do we live for?" & she simply replied,"To seek purpose in life?"
sometimes, I believe I've found mine (& I so desperately hope so), so have you found yours? At times, I find myself wavering, frightened out of my wits. What if this happens, what if that happens? What if I couldn't get a job when I graduate? What if I never graduate? What if I lose interest in what I love now? What if I lose hope?
But I believe, "Things happen for a reason".
No matter how dire circumstances are, they happened for a reason. Take faith in that. Quoting from manda again, "When the hour seems the darkest, the sun will rise once more"
And from my dearest boss, James, he told us never to predict or plan more than 5 years ahead. Because chances are, circumstances will change & no planner can accurately predict where you'll end up then. Take things in your own stride. Seek hope from the unexpected. You'll feel happier & much more likeable, dear friend. Take care.
Its just me and you <3 .
1:05 AM
1:05 AM
I watched Victor/Victoria for the second time, and it's still marvellous. Much better than the first time I watched it. Watch it if you've the chance.. Damn gay story about sex discrimination, interchangeable roles of men & women & about unorthodox love.... Remind me of Colin n who's the other guy...
Its just me and you <3 .
12:49 AM
12:49 AM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
| You Are a Smiley Face Cookie |
 You're happy go lucky. So happy, in fact, it's a little past the point of normal sanity. You usually make those around you smile ... when you're not creeping them out! |
| How You Are In Love |
 You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
| Your Personality Is |
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours. |
| In a Past Life... |
 You Were: A Mute Priest. Where You Lived: Thailand. How You Died: Buried alive. |
Its just me and you <3 .
9:25 PM
9:25 PM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I'm getting more vulgar these days. And the thing is.. haha. i enjoy being this way. I don't mean I'm vulgar towards anyone, it's just more carefree & being heckcare.
Haha, that was me after i watched Victor/Victoria. Saying "shit" "wah shit" "wah utter shit". & damn, it was made in 1982. Goddamn, I wasn't even born, for heaven's sake. My ELDER sister was born in that year. I'm still "un-made" as of 1982. When I watch the front part of Victor/Victoria, I'm like WAH THE SHIT WAS THAT?!! & i'm not using the f word yet. Wah are you singing man??! Fine, I don't know howta appreciate musical, I must admit. And it's hard core musical at the first part.
Oh ya, I forgot to intro the show first. It's abt this woman, Victoria, who could sing 4 octaves n is helluva soprano, yet she's jobless in Paris. Her 秘密神功 was being able to sing the high E flat and made any glass break. Then one day, she met this "agent & 过气 entertainer", Toddy, who's a gay. Goddamn hard-core gay, who sings this song that has the word "gay" for every other "word". And he flirts with every guy he meets. Anyway, he had this master plan to transform Victoria into Victor, who's "supposedly" THE female impersonator from Poland. So a girl pretends to be a man who pretends to be a girl.
They start off with a sexy jazz performance. Sneazy, low-pitched, enticing. Totally in tune with the whole theme of "gay". 同志们，大家一起走! (my own personal joke here)And this King M got totally (he's not a King, his name just happens to have the word King) caught up by her act and was falling hard for her, when Victoria revealed to the audience that she's a guy. *She does look handsome for a young chap* King suddenly changed from a straight to a downright "gay"! It's damn ridiculous how Victoria toy with his/her sex identity and ridicule the audience. In retrospect, I'm beginning to think Blake (the director) is in fact toying us as well..
Anw, King cant fall for a guy, yet he's deeply attracted to Vic. Victoria cannot fall for King because she's a guy. But of cos, like all cliche movies, they fell in love & got together.. but as "gays". A perfectly normal couple acting "gay". How ridiculous. I think I'm finally understanding what Blake is trying to say. Dancing in a gay club is their only option. Amongst "gays"... that scene is hilarious. Kissing, for them, is like a downright sin although it's outrightly natural. *imagine 2 guys muaching... erks..*
And the last scene is terribly terribly hilarious. The character,Toddy, won the best supporting actor in the oscars and rightfully so. It's damn funny! & beloved JA won best actress!!! This whole damn show is just hilarious n fun, yet talks abt a serious topic with a light-hearted touch. I guess I didn't find it superb when I was watching it. But it's the kind of movie you watch and you go home & think abt it. The more you think about it, the more you want to kick Blake. At the same time, you must marvel at his brilliance.
Damn, I'm totally awed by his insight & courage (esp in that era, before Brokeback was even made).. Thumbs up! Watching these kinda shows reminds me why I wanna go into this field in the first place. Watch it if you have the chance!
Its just me and you <3 .
11:06 PM
11:06 PM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
OMGOMGOMG, I just read a darn power powerful fanfic. It was rated M, meaning for Mature Readers only. For Singapore's standard, I guess it will warrant a R21 and probably viewing by invitation only. No, it'll probably be banned in Singapore. Cos our damn censorship board is too narrow-minded to accept the fact that nudity serves some other purposes than to make hormones rage.
Okay shuddup. I know people, particularly SOME people, would start saying I'm a sex maniac. Particularly since they thought I have a fetish for particular MTVs. But I'm not! It just so happens that the mtvs of the songs that I like coincidentally have a guy taking off his clothes or a girl in revealing attire. But I never saw those MTVs before lol. And I read this fanfic cos somebody recommended it hor...
Anw, back to the fanfic. Not only is it sexual, it's sensual. Alot of people get so caught up with the sex and forgot what's behind those scenes. In this fanfic, it's darn complicated because there are so many inter-twined layers. It's a concoction of forced marriage, rape, love and even a twinge of prostitution.
Anyway, as a side-note, I happened to come across this rape x-files fanfic by chance. I was damn shocked when I read it. More frankly put, I was frightened. I honestly can't imagine anyone inflicting that sort of harm on anyone (notice I use "anyone", not "girl"). I mean I KNOW it's extremely devilish, but I only REALISE how bad it is after reading it. I won't recommend you to read any of those, cos it really grosses me out. But it really gives me more perspective of the things they go through, and makes me empathize with them even more.
Anw back to the fanfic (seems like I will never finish this entry), okay fine, I couldn't really stomach the graphic scenes, but they are so...necessary. In fact, they're the very essence of the story. There's absolutely no other way to convey how lost or desperate a person can get, how resign she can be to fate and how, ultimately & thankfully, there's still hope no matter how dreadful circumstances are.
But frankly, so many of us are so caught up in the daily hassle of life, when do we get a chance to stop and ponder over such things? Such atrocities?! Maybe that's why we need such "literature" to shock us out of our little comfort zones and understand what reality is like. What evils lie in the world, outside Singapore... or even closer to home, what possible evil roams in the streets downstairs.. Erks. But you know, it was very difficult for me to blog this entry, because the topic is so taboo in Singapore. It's as if I'm talking abt this forbidden fruit. Something that's essentially very human, yet we try to pretend it's non-existent.
I frequently passed Geylang on my way home, not by choice, but by necessity. I see prostitutes lining the streets, soliciting. Sometimes, an old ahpei will approach them n start chatting them up. I see women gathering at the entrances of hotels, waiting. For who, I've no idea. Sometimes I wonder what leads them to do this..to betray their own souls and bodies. Maybe they had a family to feed back at their homelands? Maybe they were deceived into taking up this trade? Countless reasons but the same fate.
A scarred soul that never heals fully.
Its just me and you <3 .
12:19 AM
12:19 AM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
人生其实是很痛苦，要不然婴儿为什么一生下来就大哭大叫？
人生明明是很可悲，可是人总是用各种各样的精彩来遮掩。
人生也许很痛苦、很可悲，但人生活着就是为了不断地抓住那不可抓摸的希望。
到底他们几时才会明白希望是永远无法被牢牢抓住的？
Its just me and you <3 .
9:55 PM
9:55 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
When A Stranger Calls
What do you do when a stranger calls? What if there's nobody at home and all you can hear is just deep, deep breathing? What if the call is traced and it's coming from within your house? You should be afraid. Very afraid. Scared out your wits till you piss and shit.
But, frankly, I had a good laugh than a good scare. Midway through the show, I turned to my right and saw 3 people sinking further and further into their seats. Haha, I was understand why wanlin's placed so low in the seat, but what about Esther and Timo? Timo was like turning and tossing like a wriggling worm. Cos he was trying to sit on his sides to make himself sink further into the seat.
And Esther actually caught the WHOLE movie! Haha congrats! So brave haha. And this time, she didn't scream into my ear, unlike all the other times when we watched horror movies. Come to think of it, why does she always end up sitting beside me when we're watching horror movies? But damn malu, she screamed (piercing scream) at a wrong time. The action was sort of over and a balloon accidentally exploded on-screen, and she screamed! The whole cinema heard her scream and burst into laughter. Comical relief moment man.
Haha, so throughout the duration of the movie, I was actually feeding off these comical relief moments. Like occasionally, some girl (other than Esther) will suddenly scream and the audience laugh inspite of the horror going onscreen. Or I can just look around and get amused by the comical trio. I guess I'm not a horror movies person. If I can choose, I try to avoid them at all costs.
Actually I wanted to catch Take the Lead, but hell, why is the rating so poor. So bad that the others didnt want to catch it, so I was dragged into this THING. It's not like I'll get frightened by the film, okay I do get slightly scared, but not like the other 3. It's like I realise, I switch off after a certain time. Like this switch is flipped on after I take in so much shock/horror, I just can't get into the mood lol. A perfect defense mechanism, but then I can't get to actually enjoy the film. Damn.
Actually, I think I'm getting more 木纳 these days. Maybe I went on emotional overdrive during the directing course. Now, I don't get any (or much) "vibes" from music or TV! Like Phoebe (in the newest episode), maybe I'm having an emotional "block"? I hope I don't become a zombie lol. Dots.
Its just me and you <3 .
6:37 PM
6:37 PM