Friday, March 31, 2006
Mothering with an S becomes Smothering. Playing with words abit.
Today, with that idiotic migraine raging, I still managed to complete my application essay. Great achievement haha. Crap la. But the topic did start me thinking. It goes like this "Describe a person who had an influence on you". I started raking my brains and memory about who actually had a profound influence on me. Too bad I'm more of a withdrawn person. I processed alot of things and come to conclusions on my own terms, so basically the person that influences me the most is ME. But that would sound too egocentric. So well, I didnt write abt myself.
Basically, almost everyone I had contact with, influenced me ever the slightest. Even tiffany, my junior in Nanyang Badminton, who is very cocky
and noisy. She is basically this young brat, who has not learnt to grow up. Very arrogant, but she has does have what it takes to be arrogant. Still, I remembered learning something from her. But now, I forgot what it is. A valuable lesson.
Actually, in the essay, I wrote about this lady who taught me to be kind and generous with praise and words. To absolutely mean what I say and to be kind. Suddenly, while writing the essay, I finally realise who i am. I'm not the smartie like boonshan & I don't have zhangrui's photographic memory. Nor do I have kokchong's crappy mouth, or berne's lameness. I cant articulate ideas like priya, or make many friends like wanlin. I may not be as pretty as esther, or as high-pitched as meihui. Likewise, I aint as organised as huizhi or as straight-forward like jiayi.
But I will always be a loyal friend. Although at times, I seem very vulgar and may scold or hit people, I do mean what I say. If there's something that I don't see eye to eye with, I will tell you at the appropriate time. I will answer you truthfully if you ask me. I'm not the kind who backstabs people or talk bad about people. Because I cant stand fake-ness. It's something that I've come to hate, I realise. I cant stand people being fakey, or insincere. It's one thing to be uncomfortable, but another to be fake. I prefer me to be uncomfortable than to act like I'm enjoying myself.
Today, I had this sudden enlightenment while writing the essay. I realised I always missed out linkages. That's why I often had problems conveying ideas to others. Not alot of people could understand my train of thoughts because they don't think like me. I only mention the gist of ideas and gauze over the details. I remembered there was once my friend had told me I tend to jump from one idea to another and it's very difficult to follow me. Perhaps I inherited that from my father, because he too, often speak suddenly, out of nowhere, some weird things that nobody could understand. So pardon me next time if i do that. Just tell me, you don't understand. Haha.. need to brush up on my communication skills le....wth
Its just me and you <3 .
8:43 PM
"Somewhere over the rainbow...."
Haha, the song bug just bit me or something. Anyone has this song? Send to me pls! Haha, I so feel like singing. ;p
Today, I had this terrible migraine at the left side of my head and coming down with flu. So I took a day leave and slept at home. Then, very hilariously, I witnessed a funny side of my otherwise normally normal mother. She is so obsessed with 大长今! SO SO SO obsessed. I mean, I can imagine myself doing that, but my mother?!!! In her 50s, she's chasing after stars and obsessing? I thought she was way past that age?
Haha, in the morning, she started flipping through the newspaper and showing me this article on 大长今. Then she told me in a serious voice,"I want to go Korea". I was ???-_-??? haha full of question marks. "Because you watched 大长今?" I asked her and it is. Damn hilarious.
Then she was asking me who's my fav character in the show? So I was considering this question v seriouly. But really, this show, I have yet to find THE character who can make me adore-until-i-die-type, so i just said none (altho there's someone). Then she said,"Aiyoh, why are you so cold-hearted?!" in a joking manner. Haha, i was so tickled by it. So i just acted along, 假假 act 随便 told her 韩尚宫. But really, she's my fav character up to this point(I only watched until episode 30+). But I just cant stand her being so 胆小 and 软弱. Anyway, my mother was so surprised and so happy, cos my fav is her fav! And she thought she was the only one who liked 韩尚宫! Apparently, most of korea also loved her. Read the newspaper to find out why. Don't want to give spoilers here.
Seriously, I feel so gek up cos it seems like nobody has watched to the same point as I've watched. Either they have finished the whole show, or have not watched until that part. So I've got this gekup feeling. Wanna share but can't. Dammit. That's the power of TV! Evil dominance over ppl's feelings. Manipulative! Haha yet it become common topic during lunch, you know. Or just anything to start the ball rolling during conversations. It's the same with discussing music, or programmes like SuperStar or movies. Who says these movies n such are useless stuff? They are the basis of our culture, about who we are, what we watch... I'm still dwelling on what Mrs Baddiley said about media dulling emoticons and lowering our intellectual ability. Should have countered her there n then. Bleah.
Its just me and you <3 .
8:11 PM
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
这几天一直在想些笨笨的东西，什么东西应该坚持，什么东西不该坚持。有时太过坚持就会变成顽固，倔强。
为什么会在想这种东西呢？可能是因为最近在看《大长今〉〉，看到韩尚宫让我联想到很多事很多人。她们说她像是冬虫夏草。冬天是虫，夏天变成草。有点悲伤，有点沉郁。冬虫夏草就是这模样，又怎么办？看她老是头低低的走在别人的背后，那是一种尊敬，还是一种逃避？对任何事都漠不关心，一脸傲慢的人又到底是装酷，还是耍帅不帅。也许耍帅是掩饰自己最佳的办法，要不然干吗那么多人喜欢耍帅？
一个怯懦的人一生躲在别人的背后，不屑一顾。那是胆怯，还是一种撒手人间呢？反正做了也等于白做，不就干脆不做好了。另外有些人胆小怕事，可是到了紧要关头还是会散发出一种勇气，拚劲，让人始料不及。他们冲动，激烈，甚至暴力的抵抗，那也是一种坚持啊！韩尚宫是这种人吗？也许。她坚持的是她做菜的那股道理：“玉膳厨房是做菜给人吃的地方“。那我们坚持的又是什么呢？
每个人都有自己坚持的东西。每个人都应该有让自己坚持的东西。也许当我们有了能坚持的东西，我们才真正的活着， 有意义的活着。所以这几天我在想那我到底坚持的又是什么呢？哈哈，我想我最执著的是对戏的态度， 也蛮像韩尚宫的那一套。也蛮好笑的，想想我看戏也有自己的一套哲理。
看戏的时候，我很讨厌人家打电话来打岔我。看戏对我来说是一种很神圣的东西，也是让自己发泄的方法。所以我喜欢一个人看戏。因为没人在旁边，我才能被剧情牵动。 她哭，我哭。她笑，我笑。这几天，发现自己越来越机械化，不哭不笑，蛮惨的。所以当我发觉我又要变成化石了，就快点看一部通常有配角死的戏就可以了，最少我还会很伤心的哭。看戏我也不喜欢跟别人先讲剧情，因为我不喜欢看戏看到一半，就知道结局。这破坏作者的用心，也破坏一整出戏!超级超级讨厌！发泄完了，回去看《大长今〉〉了，
Its just me and you <3 .
10:54 AM
Monday, March 06, 2006
Hi people! It's so good to be back. Hah, so long since I've blogged. I'm in an unbelievably good mood these days. Maybe because I was just back from a holiday, well spent indeed. Or perhaps, it's cos my family got closer n better. Or perhaps the people of Taiwan (well, some people at least did) made me feel so much more unrestrained. Haha, before I talk about taiwan, I'm so glad my mother sorta gave me a little leeway by saying perhaps I may not want a scholarship anyway, no use forcing it on me. Hah, hit on the nail in the head. It's funny how much I hate applying for scholarships, yet everyone around me advises me to. And i absolutely hates applying for it.
Nvm that. It's just unbelievable how I am still watching Sound of Music now. Hah, Sound of Music is really, trust my words, way better than Mary Poppins. Well, I finally got the Mary Poppins DVD, which is another old film by the way. It's, to my utter surprise, a Walt Disney story that combines living actors with cartoon characters. But sadly, Julie Andrews, I found, didn't fare better than Dick Van Dyke, in my opinion. That guy is hilarious and funny and wacky. But Mary Poppins was just too strict. I still like Maria better.
Hah, I don't care what you people may say abt it being an old old film, and things like my mother love that show. Make me sound so old, but what ever, it's a classic. And a classic indeed. I love the songs and the way they weaved into the storyplot. I love Maria with the kids, Maria with the nuns, and Maria with Captain Von Trapp. It's a story about family, about love, about war, about hope. It's a song with laughter, tears, betrayal, suspicion and reconcilation. It may not be as dark as some of the modern films, like perhaps what Munich appears to be, but it has most elements that make it an excellent film. Despite how much I hate the ending, the starting is fantastic, the middle is excellent, the ending is not carried out well enough.
It's funny why I like it so much, despite it being an old film. It's not like those erxin erxin old films, with cowboys shooting and lame stuff. There's not alot of dancing, those funny ones when somebody just gets bonkers out of the blue and start dancing. It's about a person who loves to sing, who's hyper by nature, and hyper because she has to take care of SEVEN children. I personally feel it's the charisma of Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, the songs & e 7 children that made it a classic. Argh, I didn't realise I crap so much crap again..lemme watch it first. I'll blog about taiwan soon!
Its just me and you <3 .
10:16 PM