Friday, April 30, 2004
Today is JC comp Day 1! Haha... actually i aint very anticipating the match, cos i dun really feel the zest. Mabbe is cos i dun feel much for the team, or for HC yet. Hahaha.... i realise today ailin and huirou also the same. Hahah cos all 3 of us feel sad cos we dun feel sad when HC lost. Den seniors faces were like so sad.... Esp meilin. Sigh.... she looks better when she's smiling! Fei hua!
I like traitor today like that, cos i keep walking over to NJ there to tok to Apple and cher. hAhaha.... And i still went to buy bubble tea. Wau lau! I was more happy to see apple, cher, wai san, bena.... den playing the game leh. Wah sai rite!!! Haha... so farnie when we reached there, cos everywhere can see nanyang people. Me, ailin, huirou, waisan, cher, apple, jas, xiang yun, judy, cheng wei, kiki!! Ahaha den got one time, our batch one everyone, almost la, all sit on the bench, den i so qi gek i never bring cam, so farnie scene!!! Hahaha.
Anyway the match i should have win!!! Waulau, opponent is supposedly doubles or singles player. both can play. But she can only drop nice nice and cross court shots very nice, if i bounce and run and wadeva sai, i sure can win lor!!!! but i like so many many many many many out shots!!!! CHicken!! and somemore i'm glued to the floor. Wad sai!!!! More qi is apple, when i told her i could have won her senior, she give me that kinda face!!! Hahah... den i ask wai san, who agrees with me!! Yeah!!!
Anyway den joe lee very farnie. I today den realise he was under 16 champ!!!! Wau lau, kan bu chu lor!!! Wau lau!! Anyway he damn farnie, say me until i like said"shit, i could have beaten that gal" He just blurted out, so surprised!! haha... at least make everyone luff. Actually he's quite okay la. Philosophical like mr wee. But more not as winning-orientated!! Haha. Oh no... i'm starting to like him... haha like real
Its just me and you <3 .
11:31 PM
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
i'm chao fan. Ivy msg me to ask if i wanna train tml cos she got one hr of court to practise singles with me. It's very nice of her la, tt one i one. But tml s7 gonna support softball finals. And i'm looking very forward to it this whole day. And suddenly this pops up. I mean if she told me earlier this afternoon, before maths lesson, i would have agreed. Cos during maths, ms hia was asking who cannot make it and of course must have valid reason. Now how?! If i ask for excuse tml, scully ms hia give me the waulau face.
I noe it's better to go for training. My logical mind is pulling me towards training. But another part of me is pulling me towards softball match. Ok so softball match nothing to do with me, but badminton comp is this friday. Friday leh and i have no time to train anymore, cos thursday is rest day then comp liao. But since i already think our team CMI liao, why train so hard? I mean i aint giving my best during training already. Firstly, cos i dun feel anything for the team at all.
Esp after the pep talk when i spill everything out, i feel like i dui bu qi the whole squad, like de zui the whole team. Mabbe is my own xing li feeling, mabbe they aint against me for saying the truth wad. The team really cannot ma. I didn't say cannot make it la, but the meaning was there. I know meilin they all very sad. But it's the truth lor.
Then next the training is so slack from nanyang. At least in nanyang i look forward to training. Much more compared to hc. HC i try to pon as much as possible. One is cos i cant click well with teammates, and j1s hor.... sigh... shake head. Second no coach, no organisation or drill or wad. I mean got la, self-inflicted drills la. But carry out like tt, like no discipline wadeva, so slack. Dun feel like doing lor.
I mean i noe my attitude towards badminton now waulau CMI. It's reasonable rite. But it's unreasonable also. I mean like if i have that kind of attitude, even if i train tml, also no use. It's just a waste of time. I wan to do well in the comp, but wad's the use? I don't even feel anything when i'm playing on courts nowadays. I dun feel the drive, the aggression, the urge to win. It's to play.
To forgo softball is one thing. To train tml and waste time is another. I'm so sad now, i drop my maths hw dun do. i heck. if tml force me train, i can also heck. But wad's the use? Wad's the use of training when i'm hecking everything. I can go for the one hour training and end up losing to ivy 15-1 all the time or worse 15-love. I got the impression i will end up like tt tml. Tt's y i dunwan to go.
Everyday i end so late. 520 leh. Everyday! Monday training now until 730 or 8, reach home 9. Then tuesday thursday chinese history end at 520, reach home 7. Wednesday Saturday vnr, reach home 7 or 5 for sat. Ha Ha Ha! Wad kind of life is this? No time for hw, study. TV i must. I dun care. No time for piano. No time for internet. No time for life! Now still dun haf test, exams how? block test how? Initially i wanna go softball like take a breather rite. Can relac! Waulau, now. I was still thinking of go slack, play pool or wad sai. Wad sai!! Yeah rite. Pao tang! GAD!
Its just me and you <3 .
11:16 PM