Tuesday, September 30, 2003
30/9/2003
Today was the start of alot of tearshed cos we got back chinese and english papers.
We took back chinese paper first, which was a disaster, namely, for me. Our class average MSG was lower than expected since our class is mainly made up of clit people. My results was even more cham than i expected. 71 out of 110 for paper two. Sigh. But nevermind leh, at that point of time, i really nevermind leh. Dunno y also, i really not very much affected by my lan lan results.
Then take back all the chinese papers liao, realise got B3, damn lan. But i still nevermind. I think i'm abit funny today, as in siao siao. i'm like have no emotion, no bad feeling at all leh? I think the others all very bewildered why i can stay so calm. And i was still smiling lor. Xiuxia was sitting beside me then, and her marks were around mine, and she's very sad. So she very shocked dao i dont appear to be affected by my marks at all.
But even me myself dont understand how come i was behaving like this. Ling Ee trio came by and they always expected my results to be 不 错 , so they very shocked to hear i got b3. When she asked me how much i got, i really very 慷 慨 let her see my script. If in normal circumstances, i would only say very lan4 la, don't ask or something like tt. but today i abit 奇 怪 cos i not only appear to be unaffected, but i really IS unaffected leh. Thank goodness they never laugh at me, jeer at me or what. :D True friends are like this right?
Anyway i still very puzzled by my behavior even till now. Am i pretending to be okay? Maybe a little bit. But today's different, only very small tiny winny bit of sadness, but more of disappointment. Why am i behaving like this? Is it becos 我 长 大 了? Or is it because i really 看 破 红 尘 ? hahaha, like monk like tt. Or i really can 顺 其 自 然 ? Learn from << 倩 女 幽 魂 >> one, heehee so Amanda dont say the show no use one.
anyway later on, amanda came to our side with tears. Sigh i really dont know how to react, how to console. Sigh. Wad to do, just smile back at her. hopefully my 乐 观 can influence her abit, make her happier. I cant do much, can only do so little lor. maybe tt's y i'm behaving like tt today?
After that, we took back english paper. That was when i really feel very very disappointed. Not at my english marks, but at my chinese marks. Cos in constrast, both got B3, den i realise i really did very badly for chinese, but what can i do right? 事 情 都 发 生 了 。 Sigh. Jiayou in Os. Hopefully. But now i more relax, cos can use CL A1 as R5. Heehee. When taking back english paper, amanda and weilin told me yuhui got very high 19/25 for compre. So i went to scold her. Heehee. But den later amanda nudge me, cos kim crying liao. I didnt notice. Then i realise i very insensitive, i dunno izzit i make kim feel bad about her marks, so she cry. Sorry sorry kim. So i kept quiet for quite long, cos i scare i make someone cry again. But i didnt do well also lor. Sigh.
This prelims very idiot. Make alot of people cry. Amanda, kim and xiuxia. Xiuxia was worried of her A maths results, cos if she gets 1 more mark she can get A1. Chin gi also same situation, but she very ä¹� 观 one, so she always smiles all day. Hope everyone can learn to be like her, so 乐 观 。
Its just me and you <3 .
10:14 PM
10:14 PM
Monday, September 29, 2003
Today when i went to school and told them i bought << 倩 女 幽 魂 >> i got an uproar as expected heehee. But den today weilin surprised me, cos she also went to my blog den see the extent i am obsessed with << 倩 女 幽 魂 >>， then the whole day was niao-ing me. Hahaha. Surprised cos she comes to my blog, even more surprised is she whole day niao-ing me.
Suddenly i have this strange notion. I suddenly realise Amanda is very much like 流 云 。 Please dont kill me amanda! Cos she always smiling alot, but dunno true anot. Maybe she's using her smiles to disguise some feelings she cant express? Anyway since she is like 流 云 , i just describe 流 云。 He is very 乐 观 , but only appears to be. No matter how sad or happy, he forever has that smile. And the smile is very contagious and influential, cos will affect those around him. So he looks like the sort who never grows up, forever living in never-ever-land. But then behind that smile this guy is very easily 自 卑 ， he forever afraids he is not as up to standard as others expect and thus 钻 牛 角 尖 but there is really no such need, cos he himself is very 厉 害 liao, but only lack the self-esteem to activate that talent.
Then i think i very much like 红 叶 i meant nothing between amanda and me hor. please dun misunderstand, i mean we are similar character-wise. You may not agree, but this is how i view myself. I treasure freedom alot, but i dont get it. I have some unresolved family problems, like 红 叶 although hers is resolved. She is very independent and i hope i have that also? I think i am quite independent. Sometimes when i do some things i also cant stand 婆 婆 妈 妈 。 i must be 干 干 脆 脆 ， 干 净 利 落 ‚ But relationship-wise i can be very 婆 妈 , i can be even more 拖 拖 拉 拉 ‚ But once i decided, i will be very 干 脆 sometimes people think i'm very 绝 情 Dunno leh, sometimes i feel like i'm very unapproachable. I seem to have the feeling others are sorta afraid of me or wad? Dunno leh, dunno how to put it. Anyway like her i seem very 冷 漠 , although i not as cool as 红 叶 ， I also think sometimes i really very serious, too serious even to my liking, wadeva la. This is me!
Anyway i went to this site http://skywonder.com and check out my horoscope. It's in 繁 体 字 so those who cant read, sigh, too bad, cos very 准 。 For me, i think so la. Cos got some things very real. Like stated above, i value freedom and independence alot. I also hate to be 束 缚 ， My mother would be very clear of that. Cos the more i am 束 缚 the more i try to break free. So in relationship, i will try to break free if too restricted. I dont want to be bonded by relationship, tt''s y never last long. Perhaps that answers y i forever relationships so short ( i cannot stand possessiveness-- waisan, now u noe) Anyway i dont like to talk about 往 事 liao, but i must say this. The site says i attention span short, tt's y cant stay long in r. But den i must refute this, i pride myself for long attention span (esp in class). Maybe "还 没 投 入 就 放 弃" is a better reason. Another true analysis from the site is i love wide spaces, esp nature and tt i love travelling. Ya, correct cos i dream to backpack anyway wanna join? it also says i love animals cos they have no expectation. Sagittarius may seem very distant or 冷 漠 , but actually they long for people's 接 受 and 了 解 。 Go check out the site!
Its just me and you <3 .
6:24 PM
6:24 PM
Sunday, September 28, 2003
28/9/2003 still the same day oh
Just now i was very sad. But now not liao. Cos just now watch an episode everyone was very happy. Suddenly i like realise 红 叶 and 流 云 really very 配 。If only they have good ending, perhaps in real life also? Heehee. I very super watch until second last episode liao. I gonna finish it today i think. Heehee. but i still dun wan to watch, cos 红 叶 will surely die, and i will be sad again. I dont want to be sad, change happy den sad again three times in a day. Siao one. This show is so sad, everyone eventually has to die somehow or another. But it''s the truth anyway. I think i abit psycho, like purposely buy this show to 虐 待 myself, make myself cry like shit. Maybe this is a way to 减 压 。 bad way to 减 压 also. Anyway got one thing i learnt from this show: 人 人 心 中 一 定 有 魔 ， 魔 心 中 有 人 。 if there is 魔 existing tt is. When i was younger, few years ago only, i got a very 笨 想 法 : how come there are bad guys on earth? Are they a specific different group of people, like humans got different species. Or are they some deforms? Some aliens? Heehee mad mad rite. But this show abit 提 醒 me, i also got 魔 性 oh. You you you also. Just 小 心 can liao!
Its just me and you <3 .
3:52 PM
3:52 PM
28/9/2003
For those who dont want to know what's gonna happen in the future episodes of << 倩 女 幽 魂 >>, please dont continue. Please dont.
This morning i watch until the part where 七 夜 and 小 倩 got married, but their ceremony was disrupted by that idiot 金 光. Later, 三 娘 died. She died. i knew something bad would happen to her, so i kept praying she would be careful. i kept muttering 三 娘 你 小 心 一 点 三 娘 求 求 你 小 心 一 点 。 求 求 你 。 结 果 她 还 是 死 了 。 死 了。 竟 然 还 是 被 七 夜 害 死 的 。 我 边 看 边 哭 ， 不 久 没 泪 了 。 是 哭 到 没 泪 了 ? 还 是 心 死 了 。 别 担 心 ， 没 那 么 严 重 。 可 是 人 心 是 很 奇 怪 的 。 心 会 自 然 平 复 ， 有 regenerative power. 可 能 暂 时 无 法 感 觉 。 暂 时 而 已 罢 了 。 暂 时 而 已 。 累 了 。 不 写 了 。 。 。
Its just me and you <3 .
11:42 AM
11:42 AM
Saturday, September 27, 2003
27/9/2003
Today after noon, i went out with Zhi to Bugis. There we walked here walked there, practically going nowhere in mind. But one thing is we always go into any CD shops or VCD shops. Heehee. Then we would check the prices for the shows we are looking for. For me, it will be << 倩 女 幽 魂 >>, for Zhi is "All in"- korean drama. Then the first store we went it was like the one i see previously: 4 volumes, each $19.90. Then there is this one big album all 40 episodes, but selling at $49.90. Very expensive lor. But the sales gal very friendly. She sees that i was interested in << 倩 女 幽 魂 >>, den she got talk for very long about it and interests me. But den too expensive too bad. but den the package and covering really very nice.
Then we went to other shops, walk here and there. We both dun want to spend money, so spend quite some on food. Sigh. Anyway we went to this shop at Parco Bugis selling electronics. Then inside got VCD shop leh! Heehee, den i found one << 倩 女 幽 魂 >>, selling at $39.90. CHeapest lor. Tolong. So i very very excited. But den 一 想 到 how to persuade my mother leh. 伤 脑 筋 ! Very dishearted whenever i think about how to persuade my mother. I even 缠 着 Zhi help me persuade, but den so farnie, she also like very scared of my mom. Why farnie? Cos her face very weird expression, and then i finally found someone who also thinks my mother very 难 persuade-- stubborn or 凶 ? Heehee. Then that time i realise my avoidant disorder coming out again. CAnnot! I cannot think or be like tt! So i went out alone outside to somewhere quieter to call my mother.
Persuading my mom is a challenge, no... a chore, no... 天 下 第 一 难 事 . But eventually i succeed!!! Miraciously! Hehee. But i wasnt as happy or excited as i thought or expected. Dunno leh. I was questioning myself izzit i dont really like the show THAT much? Izzit becos i dont think it's worth all that 奋 斗? All these questions make me abit scared 到 cos suddenly like you realise wad u always held to be true may not be true at all.
But all these worries are 杞 人 忧 天 。 I think i am just too tired by my 天 下 第 一 难 事-- persuading my mom, physically and mentally. It's not i have to worry about what i have say or do to persuade her. But is what she say or do that will hurt me again. She always say i dont abide by my promises. But i always remember what she said one time "你 值 得 我 信 任 吗?" "你 怎 么 这 么 贪 钱 " I dont wish to relate what happen and why she said these things liao. it''s all 过 去 了 。 每 次 想 起 都 会 心 痛 ， 别 提 也 罢 。 Anyway other than this, every time i wanna go out or wad, esp go chalet, i must 约 法 很 多 章 with her. I must think for very long very thorough what i must do to persuade her. Imagine every outing, everytime i have to go through the same routine, wont you get 心 身 疲 惫? it's like a mental drain, so i cant get happy immediately after buying <<倩 女 幽 魂 >> and thinking what gunfire i would face when i reach home.
But nvm, at that time, i forgot all those troubles almost instantaneously and bought it! I cant believe it i bought it! Heehee. ( while typing this entry, i suddenly realise i am like 小 女 孩 nvm anyway i havent 16 yet wad :P) Anyway den the cashier say we can get a free vcd leh. There are 4 to choose. One is i watch before, ekin and 陈 小 春 acting in it, another two, never hear, and dont seem interesting. The last one seems like got prize mabbe? Or screen in some important occasions la, movies fair? Dunno la. Anyway so we took that one. actually i went home and look at the cover again, abit regret but then this was the best of the 4 liao. and 人 生 不 应 该 有 后 悔 。 Remember this oh!
Then after that, we walked around and went to MOS burger to try the 奶 茶 。 Nice nice, but i like 浓 浓 type heehee. But equally nice la. While drinking we were looking through the << 倩 女 幽 魂 >> package. Got one photo damn 恶 心 。 书 生 was wearing 红 叶 clothes and posting a very gosh pukish post. Anyway den we very sian, we at first wanna go to the "masa malem" opposite Bugis. But we walked walked until we came to Raffles Hotel and Raffles City. Then we walked past Bras basah and came across this VCD shop again! Heehee... now i got probia of VCD shop cos i scared got cheaper than what i bought one. If i see, i will be very 打 击 。 Anyway i spot one there, but it's DVD in the long portrait nice package i saw earlier on $80 plus $90?
Then we were deciding between Esplannade? Suntec? Then we walked until Peninsula cos Zhi say there got cheap things to sell. Very suitable for me la, for us heehee. Heehee den we walked into CD shop got a CD really very nice very soothing. Den we walked into yet another VCD shop. Today we abit psycho walk into so VCD shops i also cannot differentiate. Luckily till then dont have cheaper than mine one. Either same price or more x. We slacked there abit den talked about going overseas haha.
We walked till Funan again. At first dun wanna go in cos got alot of computer stuff only. But we still walked in, BAD CHOICE! Cos we came to yet another VCD shop where << 倩 女 幽 魂 >> is cheaper. Although the price tag says $39.90 also, it got 10% discount. When i saw it, so sad and pek chek cos it's in the nice nice package i absoluely adore earlier. And cheaper somemore! Nvm i 安 慰 myself, say at least got one more VCD for free but still abit pek chek. Next time anyone wanna buy it pls go there! Sigh
After Funan, we even more ç–¯. we walked to Singapore River. At first wanna go sit bumboat, but den there write only free rides on wed to friday. TOo bad. So we walked walked around till Clark Quay, go to satay club, see ang mos. Then came across House of Darkness or something with that name. 顾 名 思 义 is house of ghost that sort. $10 plus siao. Then we sat on a bench across fort canning. Zhi even wanted to go climb. So tired ar 小 姐! hehee so we just sat and wait wait. From Bugis to City hall, to Clark Quay. 厉 害 bo. Then walk back to Clark Quay NE line MRT station. I went home, she still got activities. 真 是 精 力 充 沛 . I go home watch << 倩 女 幽 魂 >> lor!
Its just me and you <3 .
6:37 PM
6:37 PM
Friday, September 26, 2003
24/9/2003
After << 向 左 走 ， 向 右 走 >> movie, we went to k-box. Too bad Amanda they all didnt go, esp Amanda cos she choir ma. But then weilin, sharleen, yiling, yiyun, xiuxia, liming and me went. I think the stupid k-box 骗 钱 one. At first i go ask, the girl say $5 only, den later she say need tidbits tax, together around $8. Then the recipt come that time, we had to pay in total about $10. 笑 叮 咚! Anyway we are first timers so naturally blur blur one. So we anyhow try try and ask a waitress help us. The waitress very cute, at least got laugh shyly at us, cos we very malu also. But den later got this guy waiter very 拽 (zhuai), ilke 看 不 起 我 们 。
Anyway at the start they push the mike to me, sing 屋 顶。 Die lor. I cant start singing so anyhow sing. Pitch wrong wadeva. Malu 死 。 Nevermind it's getting funner every second. Heehee. Then 阿 妈 and yiling 合 唱 <
After that, we took turns singing alot of songs. Sharleen was of course very thrilled with jay's songs. But den too bad <<晴 天>> cannot. we tried millions of times but everytime "对 不 起 没 有 这 首 歌" grrrr..... Nevermind, we also sang 孫 燕 姿's songs. Her songs like everyone also knows, 可 见 her 厉 害. We sang alot alot of songs. From 530 to 830. Den the milo so little, we all drank very very sparingly. The tidbits all very 热, like 故 意 want us to buy more drink and charge us. *slit eyes Anyway there's Elva 萧 亚 轩 song when 阿 妈 forever very 敢. She imitated Elva's dance and dance for us. Got several waitors passed by, all shocked 到. haha so cute. Then we all noticed those who passed by earlier turn to face the opposite room instead of looking into our room. Hahahaha!!!!
After that dont know why someone mention 马 桶, so I quietly 点 Andy Lau's 马 桶 den turn out nobody knows how to sing. So i have to sing, along with weilin, 跟 我 一 起 受 罪. heehee paiseh. Then nearing closure time, so we all stood up and sang together. We sang <
haha k-box actually very fun. But really too x. Cannot go too many times. Once in a while maybe. Then today can see alot of their personalties we dont see in school everyday. i also more 开 放. Heehee everyone was so high at the end of the day, we sang so long we cant even hear ourselves. :P liming also sang leh!!! But really very soft. But 不 错 oh! Heeheee. Yiling they all always listen to radio, of course singing good. I very 惭 愧 ，cos like my piano teacher says, my singing really very eh..eh.. Heehee, cant hear it, who asks me 讲 话 小 声 ， 唱 歌 also wad. Next time should call the whole class, or at least more people come. Stay longer cos the room really quite big. And really 隔 音 very good.
Its just me and you <3 .
5:55 PM
5:55 PM
24/9/2003
<< 向 左 走 ， 向 右 走 >> was a waste of money i think. Cos not really a love story. I mean if i'm reading 几 米's i think it will be very nice. but that's only on 2 dimension. But on screen, i think it's too fake lor. And they purposely make it should that their lives are exactly identical. That's so unreal! but i must agree with amanda their quotes very meaningful. Maybe if i am watching this at home, i may like it better, cos i can pause the screen and den 回 味 abit. Heehee. But den if anyone still wants to watch it, go ahead, dont be swayed by me hor.
That night, after we went to k-box and sang 到 爽 ， i reached home at around 1015 and ate dinner then. So late lor! Den watch << 倩 女 幽 魂 >> of course. After the show, at around 12mn, i started watching << 无 间 道 >>. It was so 赞 ! Especially 梁 朝 伟。 i''m getting abit technical with my clit terms here... paiseh... Those cant stand my terms, please forgive me.
其 中 有 一 幕 是 当 黄 Sir 被 黑 帮 从 高 楼 推 下 ， 坠 楼 丧 命 的 时 候 。 他 那 时 才 刚 刚 下 的 士 ， 重 来 到 现 场 ， 黄 Sir 的 尸 体 就 直 接 掉 在 的 士 屋 顶 上 。他 眼 睁 睁 得 看 着 与 他 出 身 入 死 ， 倍 受 他 尊 重 的 黄 Sir ， 被 他 所 谓 称 兄 道 弟 的 哥 们 儿 活 活 得 逼 死 。而 他 却 不 能 流 露 出 任 何 对 黄 Sir 的 怜 悯 之 情 。他 还 得 装 着 一 副 若 无 其 事 的 表 情 ， 因 为 他 不 应 该 为 一 个 警 察 的 死 而 伤 心 。 要 不 然 他 的 卧 底 身 份 就 会 暴 露 ， 而 陷 入 危 机 。
当 时 他 的 表 情 很 复 杂 ，表 现 他 内 心 的 挣 扎 。 有 怒 却 又 不 能 言 ， 是 多 么 痛 苦 悲 哀 的 事 。 他 把 这 种 感 觉 表 现 得 很 彻 底 。但 旁 观 者 又 会 以 为 这 是 流 氓 遇 到 这 种 事 的 可 有 的 反 应 ，所 以 又 不 会 让 人 起 疑 ， 真 是 妙 。 后 来 结 局 的 安 排 实 在 太 令 人 错 愕 ， 惊 讶 了 。 他 最 后 被 一 个 很 微 不 足 道 的 小 角 色 开 枪 射 传 头 盔 当 场 惨 死 。可 悲 可 悲 可 悲 啊 !
梁 朝 伟 在 << 无 间 道 >> 里 的 角 色 形 像 比 较 明 确 ， 因 为 由 始 自 终 ， 他 都 是 个 身 不 由 己 的 卧 底 。 他 抱 着 真 义 的 信 仰 ， 到 最 后 从 没 改 变 立 场 。 在 << 无 间 道 >> 里 ， 比 较 难 看 得 出 他 眼 神 传 递 情 感 的 功 夫 ， 可 能 是 导 演 的 关 系 -- 不 怎 么 抓 住 他 的 这 项 长 处 来 拍。 在 << 花 样 年 华 >> ， 他 的 眼 神 真 能 传 电 ! 两 个 影 帝 同 台 演 出 ， 当 然 是 让 人 拭 目 以 待 ， 对 我 而 言 尤 其 是 期 待 梁 朝 伟 的 演 出 。 两 者 之 间 ， 我 认 为 还 是 梁 朝 伟 演 技 比 较 精 湛，毕 竟 他 是 康 城 影 帝 。 Heehee talking about bias.
Sad to say, i cried again. I must stress this to Sheena, i not so lan. I only cry if i alone watching. If others around, i wont! S Amanda paiseh cannot cry with u. But this time is because i'm so damn angry at that 小 角 色 who killed 梁 朝 伟 and those idiots who killed 黄 Sir. So idiot grrrr..... This is a damn 赞 show! I watched it twice, with my mom the next day. She also say very nice. Must watch, but i dont intend to watch << 无 间 道 >> 2 cos 梁 朝 伟 not acting in it. Bleah. Edison acting inside, xuan say he very 帅，eh... bleah.
Its just me and you <3 .
5:29 PM
5:29 PM
Thursday, September 25, 2003
24/9/2003
Today after maths paper, a whole group of us, around 10, went to watch << 向 左 走 ， 向 右 走 >>. Before that, we had a lot of time to waste, so we 走 来 走 去. Oh we spotted << 倩 女 幽 魂 >>. We saw it at one shop, it''s in a thick 包 装 selling at $39.90, then i was telling 阿 妈 affordable leh, can buy. Then we went to another shop upstairs and saw one selling at $19.80. But it's half the thickness of the previous one. Then we realise is only half of the earlier set. Then i calculated if i buy from there, can 省 10 cents. Then, i realised there is 4 of that $19.80 sets together. So the whole thing cost about $80. 笑 叮 咚 ! Nvm. I was thinking mabbe if i watch finish the whole show, i may not want to buy it then? Mabbe i buy certain parts only?
Anyway, before the movie, we went up with the others who went home first. Then we took this neoprint. Then at the first machine, i very paiseh, cos took up alot of space. :P Paiseh everyone. Like only me taking, others struggling to get inside. Ops. But next machine, i siok mok liao. I move to the very side but still in front. Heehee. Den this time the machine much much much better. Can contain everyone. But then those in front their faces like elongated, very 难 看. Then 阿 妈's face was soooooo small, compared to Liming's. Hahaha. 小 脸 婆 !
After that, we managed to persuade Huiru and Ling Ee to wear something over their 红 字, so we can sneak in the arcade. Then the stupid arcade got one sign saying those under 16 cannot go in during school hours. Then unluckily i was the only one under 16, but the others were like kek-ing me say i cannot go in. I den dont care, heehee, cos everyone always say i look older. Then somemore there's my favorite machine inside. So I 一 马 当 先 冲 inside. Den they all crowd around me. So scary, pressurizing leh. But then today really lose touch, cannot shoot the enemy and shoot the good guys always. So paiseh. But this game i always play very long den can get very high, officer or something? Then have to stand up squat down den stand up squat down again. My thighs hurt like hell lor, until a few days later still paining.
Its just me and you <3 .
10:49 PM
10:49 PM
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Suddenly, i realise this blog is getting way out of what i intended it to be. It's like "why am i playing with all these effects?" wadeva. Sigh, defies the exact meaning of having a blog. Also i cant really write what i wanna in here. Like expose to everyone is really very difficult. Expecially when i noe alot of different people read this, abit scared dao. Dunno leh, i think diary suppose to be write to myself, but den this blogspot is making it like publicising to others. Abit contradictory cos i still using when i'm criticising it. Nvm. Bleah. So i decided to have another blog, somewhere else, where no one knows who i am. Better right? So this blog will be used less often. Meaning i gonna change to a private blog lor. Heehee.
Its just me and you <3 .
6:14 PM
6:14 PM
Saturday, September 20, 2003
20/9/2003
I slack the whole day. Actually i fumbled with the computer alot today. Firstly in the morning ganna woke up by my parents' chaoing about the old computer. my dad was saying the computer was infected by worm, den my mother say still can use to play games rite. So i switched it on and try to fix it. Anyway i think it can be fixed. mabbe is this chernobyl worm. Thank goodness only affect Win95, 98, not NT, XP i think. Although gonna come up with new variant liao.
Den after that, Amanda and I was fumbling with adding music. Quite wuliao, supposed to be studying. Den we tried using angelfire, yahoo briefcase, alot of uploading programs. I used FTP also. But angelfire like ge wo you chou like tt, i forever cannot upload. And today the damn stupid fucky idiotic internet browser like so slow. Worst than caterpillar, make me worry ganna virus or worm or wadeva anot. nvm. so we were exchanging tips. Den hers forever can, mine forever cannot. When mine can, hers cannot. When hers can, mine cannot. Worst till at the end of the day, i asked jieying's friend to help me hear, den she say can hear! While amanda say cannot. Pek Chek ar. Gek si wo, waste the whole day! Jieying's friend say i obsessed with qian nu. Sigh...
Anyway, finally amanda also cannot stand it. She asks for my blogger account and password, wanna help me check. But den my password is universal one lor. I cant tell her. Den later she say i dont trust her. What the ****! I mean not like i dont trust her, but this is this lor. Even if it is anyone else, everyone else, i also wont give lor. Maybe is i dont trust anyone easily. Even huizhi i also wont give. Den later i wanan give her my template html, she rejected, but anyway mine abit luan lor. Den later i gave her my angelfire account den still change password first. Den she burst at me. arghh... qi si ren. nvm la long day struggling with this shit, makes us so bao zhao! This day sux~
Its just me and you <3 .
9:23 PM
9:23 PM
Friday, September 19, 2003
19/9/2003
Mood: Dark, getting darker every minute
Mood wasnt very good today esp during the evening. Cos ganna "hostiled" and decouraged by my di. I notice something in my family. Actually it only includes my dad and I. Cos we have a problem with relating to others. We cant put cross our ideas to others in a coherant and comprehensive way. Maybe i inherited this "disorder"? Cos my di keep telling me to speak correctly, cos he cant understand. Actually i also know my problem, and wanna change, but it's difficult. That's why i dont really like to talk, cos everytime i talk, it seems like i'm not making sense.
Den today i did that personalty disorder test. I got avoidant disorder:
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.
Eh... maybe the part about seeking jobs with little human contact is quite true. Cos i wanna be forensic scientist, interact with dead bodies. Er.... For a period of time I also wanted to be vet, interact with animals. Eh quite true la... heehee... but this describes until very kong bu. What "frequently depressed"!
Den just now, just few minutes ago, my piano teacher called me. One good news, one bad news. Good news is i passed! 107 Bad news is I passed miserably. But i dun care liao, i really dont want to take piano anymore. No enthusiasm anymore. Actually i think i deserve to fail, but that examiner really very good. What good techniques, not stylish enough. I just wanna finish grade 8, and never touch exam books again. I dont like having to practise just for exams. pressurizing myself over piano lessons. It's supposed to be soothing, not stressful. Mabbe i give myself too much stress. Not feeling good today, dont talk to me.
Its just me and you <3 .
10:26 PM
10:26 PM
19/9/2003
I realise I'm obsessed with Qian Nu almost as much as with X-files. But Qian nu better cos at least got three people in class to discuss with. Heehee :) Today during d maths, the theme song was ringing in my ears like lingering ghost like that. Spooky... Make me lose concentration cannot think properly. Must be watching too much liao. Anyway bryan wong's (wang lu jiang) acting bu chuo oh, very shan qing.
Today, I watched yesterday's episode again. It makes me want to buy Qian Nu even more. Huilin's grandma say she can buy if she wants to. Envious envious. Anyway Lanmo died. I think she died. Cos the episode very weird. The Moon demon/Yinyue Queen (yucks) came and wanna kill Lanmo. At last instant, Liuyun appeared! Initially that coward ran away! So grrr..... But den they make him very macho/heroic when he ta-ta popped out. He still dare to fight against Moon Demon oh. Power sia. Anyway den he was also injured dao zhong shang. Den Lanmo didnt even wait for Moon Demon to destroy the shield, she broke through herself, like wanna kill everyone like tt, cos her liuyun dying liao. Den the next scene damn farnie, cos like star wars, the Moon Demon like shot laser blasts at Lanmo. Lanmo also fell, injured.
They replayed Bai3 Jia1 deng1 huo3 again. This time Lanmo not mei nu liao, she is chou dragon. After alot of talking, crying, finally they gathered the candles. But den this time no use liao. Sigh liuyun was dying liao. Den they show liuyun's head drop down, den like he die liao. But immediately the scene changes to him waking up in another place. His clothes also change liao. The first time i watch, i was like huh?!?! Den i thought mabbe is about him in heaven or somewhere. Den he's back to his farnie farnie character. Den he shouted "Niang!" den i was like wide-eyed. Mother?! Lanmo? OH....
Den it shows them in liuyun's dream or is it his after-life experience. Dunno leh, cos the show never say. Den they show them living in "their" house. They are dressed in hunter's clothes. Cos they are like living in liuyun's dream about being a hunter's son. Den it was so farnie, cos at first atmosphere very sad, den scene changes become very happy, cos the two mother and son are bickering over porridge. But den also very sad cos they finally got the chance. But den it was as if they were living like this all the long. Make me confused y suddenly change identity. Den liuyun went out to chop the road for his villagers. The mood was very light.
Den finally, at the evening, liuyun was with lanmo at qingtian's grave. Den he wanna lanmo tell him about his father's wolf story... His father took only one axe with him into the woods, den meet a pack of wolves. Den he managed to run away, but he returned.
He said," I won't be a man if i run away"
Liuyun: Die1 (father) zhen ben4
Lanmo: This isnt ben4, this is call heroic.
Liuyun: Den he is a ben4 hero.
Lanmo: Jin3 guan3 hai4 pa4, hai2 si4 qu4 mian4 dui4, zhe4 cai2 si4 jiao4 ying1 xiong2. (even thought you are afriad, but u face it, tt's called courage)
Den now comes e weird part, liuyun walks up to Lanmo and said,"If that's e case, lao3 tian1 want me to go, i hafta go and walk my own path, tt's called courage rite?" It's like he knew all along that this was a dream or after-life or wadeva it is la, den even weirder is Lanmo's face become very nan kan. Den she like gonna cry. Den i was like ??? They are acting for each other's sake for the whole day to make this day last? They knew all along. I like abit ganna pian4 so grr.... And i cant even see that they are acting leh. That makes it even sadder, cos they had to pretend the whole day?!
Lanmo: Wo de hai zi zhang da liao, wo zhen me mei fa jue (my son has grown up, why didn't I realise?)
Then e whole scene transform back to reality. Liuyun woke up, becos lanmo gave him her life force orb. Den the next part i dunno howta describe. You just hafta watch it. Suddenly i realise lanmo really very beautiful, not only her outer self i mean. They were suspended in the starry sky. Den stars flutter by lanmo. Den she vanished from bottom till top, like vapourising into the night den end with a star in the sky. The mood wasn't heart-wrenching sadness but is subtle sadness, yi han.... Sigh....
Den as if the show isnt surprising enough, the person who was narrating turned out to be Xiaoxue, it seems like she was telling this story in the competition. Den i was like ?Is this a fabricated story? How come there is dream within dream. Like a present wrapped in many layer or many boxes, you never know when's the truth. I cant even sensed which part is true, which part is fake. Like when did Xiaoxue start telling e story? Is it the truth or isnt fake? Sigh tt's e best part of this show.
Its just me and you <3 .
5:33 PM
5:33 PM
Thursday, September 18, 2003
18/9/2003
YEsterday Nite, i was supposed to be studying, but i ren bu zhu, watch the whole one hour of Qian nu. It was showing abt Lanmo's love story. I was anxiously waiting to see her appearance, cos they say very mei very mei, but den eh.... she's okay la. But she very blue, very mei. But i think they over-exaggerate their love story. It's not very gan3 ren2 or wad lor... So.. I think the actress quite bang, yan ji pai one. Cos quite old, still can act as young girl and dont really make me feel like puking.
Actually I think the best part of Lanmo's story is not abt the love, but about her devotion to her child lor. Very gan ren. Cos very farnie... at first Lanmo and Qingtian very chan2 mian2, but after liuyun is borned, Lanmo seemed to love her child more than QIngtian. SOoo.. love can conquer anything except for the love of a mother of her child. u should have seen when lanmo just dont h-eel qingtian, only care abt liuyun.
Den the part when she went around collecting the candles, she is so damn strong lor. The villagers all scolding her, saying she is demon, she still dont care. ESp when she say,"Jiu shun wo si demon, hai zi ye shi bu gu de." (child is innocent, even though i am a demon) Den when she finally told her brother," Jiu rang mei mei zai ren xin yi ci ba!" (just let sister me do wad i wish for once more), so typical of young young gals. "ni ming bu ming bai, wo yi jin bu shi lanmo le, wo si xiao liuyun de mu qing" (i'm not lanmo anymore, i'm small liuyun's mother. Abit de e xing, use XIAO liuyun, but den touching.
In comparison, i think the guy actor very lan, cos didnt do much, but sigh sigh say all my fault my fault, sorry sorry. -_-" mei yong de guy, ask for candle only lanmo can ask (not his fault also). he a bit fei.
Anyway, while i watch, i very very gan dong. After that, i was crying like shit. Hua la hua la de cry.... Q_Q. Cry until i cant sleep, so can study somemore clit. Siao me. Den later eyes very pain, i go sleep. This morning during bio still paining. Dun luff at me, i know i've become very gan qing yong si liao, dunno y. I'm also a mei yong de jia hou.
Its just me and you <3 .
2:39 PM
2:39 PM
Friday, September 12, 2003
12/9/2003 Mood: Pissed!
Morning at first i mood damn good cos got a very good dream. But den the dream too hilarious, too siao siao and longgg for me to write here. But den studying c lit spoilt my day. One day till now, only study 4 chapters and i got 5 BOOKS to finish lor.
Den afternoon, meaning now, wu yuan wu gu ganne scolded by my di...... Chermaine! That database thing u sent, e wad type in friends' names and search for friends one?! Wad's that for? I till now still dunno leh. I sent him that thingy, den ganna him scolded. He bad mood y fa xie on me!???? i do that thingy tt time also damn pissed off, so ma fan. But no need scold me ma.
Hao xing ask him, wad happen to him? He said nothing and ignored me.... Sheesh.... Arghh.... At first wanna come online relax abit den study again, now mood ganna spoilt liao, how to study? Arghhh... I wanna strangle someone!
Its just me and you <3 .
6:34 PM
6:34 PM
Thursday, September 11, 2003
To: Everyone
I just found out I received a virus that automatically is passed through email address books. The virus (called jdbg.exe) is not detected by Norton or McAfee Anti-virus systems. The virus sits quietly for 14 days before damaging the system. It is sent automatically by 'messenger' and by address book, whether or not you sent e-mail to your contacts.
Here is how to check for the virus and how to get rid
of it. PLEASE DO THIS ASAP:
1. Go to Start, then click your 'Find' or 'Search' option
2. In the folder option, type the name... jdbgm
3 Be sure to search your C Drive and all the sub folders and any other drives you may have
4. Click 'Find Now'
5. The virus has a teddy bear icon with the name jdbgmgr.exe *Do not open it!*
6. Go to Edit (on the menu bar) and choose "Select All" to highlight the file without opening it.
7. Now go to File (on the menu bar) and select delete. It will then go to the recycle bin. better to delete the file in the recycle bin also.
If you find the virus, you must contact all the people in your Address Book so that they may eradicate the virus
from their own address books. To do this:
1. Open a new e-mail message
2. click the icon Address Book or Contacts next to 'TO'
3. Highlight every name and add to "BCC"
4. Copy this message and paste to e-mail
P.S. Just now, Amanda very fantically call me up and asked me HOW HOW!?! Cos she found e virus also, but it's in window system file form, i think. If you also see the teddy bear icon, pls DUN PANIC! Calm down, follow e instructions and it will be gone. I got rid of it, and many others also can get rid of it! So DONT WORRY!
Its just me and you <3 .
3:56 PM
3:56 PM
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Still 10/8/2003
It was barely 5 hours ago when i was damn overjoyed becos my mom gonna buy VCD. But just 5 hours later, my mom bian4 lian3 liao. No, specifically 4 hours later. She reached home, den ask me to accompany her to market. So i said i wanna go to the VCD shop to check out the price. Den she told me she will rent it for me.
4 hours earlier, she promised it as a present. I was looking forward to it like it's a reward for all those damn idiotic studying for the past 4 years. I was even smiling to myself while i was showering. I feel like a damn fool. Being pian4 for this 4 hours. Now she told me she will rent! Like rent a VCD as a present, tt's da4 da3 zhe2 kou4. At first, i still happily motivated to study history. Now... crap....no mood to study.
I was damn unhappy, but i still accompany her to the market. But the whole time, i was having this bao qing tian's face. She also know i damn bo shuang, so she tried not to talk to me. Not like i got talk alot back also. Nvm, raining now, i fan er more happy. Go listen to sammi's "kuai le bu kuai le", but i now really bu kuai le.......
Its just me and you <3 .
4:10 PM
4:10 PM
10/8/2003
I was watching the recorded Qian Nu You Hun (yesterday one). Ke lian de Hongye, y so young must die liao... Sighhh..... And tian nu (her mother) acting damn good. Can auto cry, like tap like that. Somemore is the kinda of auto detect (like in Barker toilets one) den drip liao kind. I think the best pair in the whole show is the two old old pair! So cute.
See the last pix, they like one family rite?
Okay enuff of my crap, today, in the morning, my mom was going out. Den i was watching this recorded episode. That time tian nu was clinging onto yan chixia's shirt and crying like shit. Den my mother scold me,"dont watch so much tv" Den i tewl my lao ma,"Lao ma, i wanna buy this series leh!" den she sae lang fei money. Den i told her cos damn farnie, watch this show, can luff my head off in the night one. Den she ACTUALLY ask me about how much leh!!!!! WOwooooo. YEShhh! Can buy leh! But she sae must O levels kao hao hao..... heeheee~~~ Year end come quickly pls! I wanna watch!
Its just me and you <3 .
11:11 AM
11:11 AM
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
9/8/2003
Study time again! I wanna go to tampines library to study initially, den feel very sian, so ask zhi if she wanna go study. Den she asked me to go to bedok library. I was waiting for bus 27, but two 87 buses already passed by liao, 27 still habben come. So waulau, 2 87 buses leh! Sigh nvm la, go to bedok to study also can.
When i finally met up with her, she gave me a blue-coloured heart with fluffy fluffy thingy. Very cute, i very shocked she give me. Heehee~ Den her mom also gave me some biscuits. At first i thought is her mom gou tong hao wif my mom, but den my mom sae is she wanna give one.
There, i managed to study maths, read thro notes only. Den i helped her clear up some doubts on Physics. Acceleration= -deceleration thingy. Very luan at first, so farnie, den teach her some "actions" to remember. See her do very farnie. Imagine if she does it during exams, the examiner will be staring at her.
I realised i cant really study outside, especially at library cos no food allowed. Cannot talk cannot study, must gui gui sui sui. And at macdonalds also not very condusive. Can get damn chao at times. Eh... still prefer at home. CAn eat, can sleep. Can walk here and there. Best thing is not so cold, got blanket ma! Heehee~
Its just me and you <3 .
9:51 PM
9:51 PM
Sunday, September 07, 2003
5/8/2003
Today's first day of prelims. Sigh... SS dun tok abt it, never link die liao lor. Eh... english is sama sama, up to lao tian ye! Waisan's compo was out of point, so she damn sad. I also dunno howta an wei her, can only say some fei fei words. Who ask me is the worst speaker on earth, mabbe can be listener to compensate ba. Anyway dun tok abt bad things. I stayed behind for the lantern festival thingy. We didnt get to play candles or lanterns or fireworks, cos this year very strict. Ms tay went round checking..... Nvm we played bball in the dark. Very fun, cannot see clearly den throw to wrong person. WE played against the npcc people. So xiong leh! I mean both sides.
When i reached home, my whole body was aching. Nvm cos i still wanna watch Qian Nu You Hun. Huiru they all always talk abt it, make me xin yang yang. Initially i say cannot watch too much tv so didnt wanna start on this one! But den got Xuan Xuan inside. If i wanna watch, i wanna watch her, but she not e main lead! Too bad later she got very bei chan ending... Anyone got this series cd? Lend me please!!!!! Or else i wanna go buy. I never watch the front part, now i must continue the series. Cant stop liao!
Her zao xing in the show damn mei ! Those who haf watched, her "xuan xin" movements very cute leh! hahaha lame also...
Its just me and you <3 .
6:15 PM
6:15 PM
Monday, September 01, 2003
Aims to be achieved:
1. Persuade my mother to let me yang hamster (from apple of course)(how anyone got any good ban fa?)
2. Learn something after Os, like tennis? Archery? Bowling? I want to learn qi4 qiang1 (gun)! But den no men lu.
Anyone wanna join me, pls someone join me!!!
3. Go on a tour (my mother says she's gonna bring me to malaysia, but sigh, i want to go somewhere FURTHERRRRRRR)
4. Do part-time (either this or 3)
5. Go OBS!!! (sabah a bit nan, Pulau Ubin good enough)
Its just me and you <3 .
10:13 PM
10:13 PM